I can't bring myself to care about E3

In the last couple of years I used to do an analysis on the big three conferences.  I would detail good business moves and bad ones, interesting new ideas coming out for the console, and horrible ones.

This year, I honestly am not invested with what's going on with E3.  

Just starting to watch the conferences just makes me depressed.  Sony wasn't super bad, but I'm not convinced that some of their exciting titles will stay nearly as exciting as they were presented.  Beyond is a story that can easily be fucked up, and boat stuff from Assassin's Creed's new installment looks totally staged.  Those are obvious complaints though.  The not so obvious complaint is that it seems Sony took many of the strategies that Nintendo and Microsoft introduced the last few years and just put Sony paint on it.  Also, there's not a lot of genuinely new things to be excited about, but that is a problem with the console industry as a whole.  Really, it's a problem with the video game industry, but that's another post for another day.  Sony is a frequent offender.

I love Nintendo like family.  It is the company that introduced me to gaming and the company will always hold a special place in my heart.  But man, did that conference have too.  much.  talking.  Nintendo is also a great example of focusing way too hard on social networking.  Most social networking that is successful evolves more organically than what they're trying to do.  Also, I have to agree with Cracked.com that there will be phalluses all up on your screen with WiiVerse.  Last year Nintendo won back the hard core gamer, just to lose them again this year with karaoke and online theme parks.  However, I'm sure they'll sell more unit again WiiU is being sold as an all around entertainment system, not just for video games. 

Microsoft had the longest conference, and it had some of the most exciting points.  Too bad those exciting points were not about genuine electronic entertainment.  It also had some of the least exciting points.  I will admit that I'm not a sports fan at all, so devoting a fifth of the presentation to sports game did not inspire me.  And then to add another huge chunk of "look, I can watch movies, and then I can watch them in Spanish!" was not impressive.  Voice control no longer a huge deal, since you've presented it the last three years.  And  no, Usher, despite being an attractive, rich singer, is not going to entice me to play your games.

I think, my fellow gamers, we have to admit to ourselves that we can no longer look to E3 anymore to provide us what we're looking for.  It is now officially covering the broader market of Electronic Entertainment, not just video games anymore.  Sure, there were some relatively smart business moves made this year, but none of them were really for the hardcore gamer, or even a gamer period.  They were for a broad market of consumers, broader than those of us who have lived by the high score and the controller.  

E3 is no longer for us, it's for everyone.  

We should've seen this coming as soon as the Wii became as popular as it did.  I don't want to fault Nintendo for the whole evolutionary change of E3, but it was the beginning of a new era, when it wasn't just for the elite fan who grew up with an Atari or NES in the living room and has had a console ever since.  Sooner or later a company would've have branched out in this way, and it makes sense it's Nintendo, who unlike Sony and Microsoft are, or were rather, wholly invested in video games.  To stay big, they had to branch out, and preferably be the first to do it.  Of course this is the solution.

For those of you feeling abandoned or neglected, do know that there is still a ton of devoted companies hoping to gain your allegiance for their video games, hoping you'll like their new thing.  I'm noticing most of the new things are on the PC, or come out on the PC first before graduating to digital downloads for Microsoft of the PS Network.  But it's definitely no longer going to be about the new video games at E3.  It's only going to be about new entertainment.  

Next year, I think I'm going to be even less invested in it.  I doubt I'm the only one.

Comments on Nintendo's E3 Conference

Check out the podcast later for more thoughts.

-I love Zelda, but this is taking a while.... eh I'll shut up.

-Miyamoto!  I'll wash your feet with my hair!

-Already more entertaining than the other one. Not a lot of info though.

-I guess they know Skyward Sword wouldn't work for the presentation.  They learned from last year.

-Iwata needs to grow his hair out, he looked better last year.

-Deeper and wider: LIKE YOUR MOM.  *ahem*

-THE 3D IS EVERYWHERE!

-First word stumble, better than Sony.

-Alright, Mariokart is just different enough.

-Yay! Something substantial on the 3DS.

-Tanooki suit forever!

-Multiplayer?  In my Icarus?!?!

-Luigi's Mansion 2 should be renamed Underwhelmington.

-The pokemon concept is pretty cool

-WEEEEEEEYUUUUUUUU!  It's fun to say!

-It's a console! *smack* It's a handheld! *smack* Console! *smack* Handheld! *smack*

-You said Super Smash Bros.  I've instantly cum in my pants.

-Delicious graphics, you haters stop hatin' now.

-Can you only use one WiiU controller at a time?

-ARKAHM CITY YEAH!  I came in my pants again.  I need new pants.

-NINJA GAIDEN!  I need a shower.

-Sad thing is I won't play half of these, they're just simply awesome.

E3 Conference Impressions: Nintendo

For part two of my conference impressions, I'm going to talk about a company that is near and dear to me.  I grew up with this company, and because it's console is the first one I ever saw, I will always have this company's back.  Basically I'm admitting some bias right now before anyone claims I am in the comments.

Nintendo

My overall impression is that Nintendo finally figured out what it was doing wrong the last two years it presented at E3.  Sure, they still made gobs of money, but no one wanted to watch their presentations.  Now I am very glad I caught it live, even if Miyamoto can't shoot arrows on command.
Once again, I don't think CEOs make the best presenters, but Nintendo is better at it than Microsoft.  Reggie at least can deliver lines without sounding completely like a robot, and the way Miyamoto was able to gracefully talk through his flub (I found it hilarious that he pulled a Steve Jobs and blamed wireless use in the audience to talk away the flub) and I stayed engaged.
Part of the reason that I was engaged was because there was some serious nerdgasm inducing stuff in that conference.  For those of you who missed it, they OPENED with Legend of Zelda.  That shows balls.  Announcing a new Zelda game is a big thing for Nintendo.  Not saving it for the very end meant that they knew they had this one.  Or at least they felt that way.  I did wait until the end to actually say they did it.
This Nintendo presentation was for all the gamers who've been Nintendo fans forever.  This was their way of saying "thanks for holding out, we got the goods" after all this time.  We can now look forward to new exciting titles of our old favorites: Kirby, Golden Sun, GoldenEye (HOLY SHIT), Metroid, Donkey Kong and Kid Icarus (GOD DAMN SERIOUSLY?).  Also, not an old game but so many of us are excited for Epic Mickey that getting just of taste of it made us super happy.  Some of these we knew were coming, and some of these we practically had to stop ourselves from wetting our chairs as we went WHAT THE FUCK in excitement, preferably not in a cubicle at work.  This is our reward for our patience.  And a lot of these games are helping Nintendo continue to do what they do well.
Kudos for them sticking to the Wiimote and not obviously sweating over the Kinect or the Mov.  That's good business face right there.  I believe they're already trying to develop something better for the future, but at the same time you don't want to make you anxiety obvious (kind of like Microsoft's presentation) so that people don't think you're only second best.  Nintendo had obviously been at the forefront of the interactive gaming market, and they're not going to let you think their balls have shrunk in that department.  Probably why this year the focus is the old favorites that the fans are going to drool over.
The big thing that I predicted was coming?  Nintendo 3DS.  I think the best idea is 3D without the friggin' annoying glasses.  That is pretty awesome.  And to see a lot of the old Nintendo games coming back to the platform because of the 3DS, including Metal Gear Solid and Resident Evil, makes me think that this is a worthy purchase.  The DS I have right now is the original brick.  I need an upgrade.  I will wait for the 3DS.
As a consumer, I'm pretty excited.  I'm going to go back to my Wii for Kirby and for Donkey Kong to relive my childhood.  To be honest I've kind of abandoned my Wii recently, with the PC being a sexier machine.  But the Wii is looking interesting again, so why not?  Waiting for the 3DS is going to be worth it too.  I like the idea of a 3D experience without a fashion accessory.  Good plan.
Reggie ending it with the ability to check out the 3DS and the Legend of Zelda game right in the theatre was an interesting strategy.  I was wondering if he was trying to get people to be late to the Sony presentation.  Sneaky, Reggie, very sneaky.  Also, I appreciate that it was a short presentation, or at least it didn't feel like it went on forever.  A little over an hour, and we've got everything we need to know.

In conclusion

Nintendo is learning from its previous E3 mistakes and is getting gamers excited for its products.  There is still stuff for the casual people, but the hardcore fans were rewarded today for their patience.  Nintendo is doing what they know they're good at and aren't breaking a sweat.  Considering their ridiculous profit margin, they have no reason to for a while.

You use a Wii Board for that?

Apparently there is some investigation in the use of Wii Balance Board for screening potential security risks at your airport.  Don't believe me, read it here.

The theory is that if you are guilty, you will shift your weight more often on the board than someone who is not guilty.  Guilty of what you ask?  Well, my dear readers. guilty of planning a terrorist attack or planting a bomb on a commercial airliner, what else?

God forbid that I have to fly when this is being tested in 2011.  Hopefully not in O'Hare, where I fly to and from the most.  Because sometimes I really gotta pee, and that makes me shift back and forth.  Imagine being accused of terrorism because you have a bad bladder.  Or what about when I shift because my feet (which used to be flat but now have high arches... what the hell?) hurt a lot?  Or what if my back hurts and I shift to help alleviate that pain?

In logical standpoint, this seems like such a bad idea.  I keep on thinking of ways it wouldn't work.  Especially if they try to use it on children.  A child standing still?  Only if he's able to sleep standing up.

I really wonder what Nintendo thinks of all this.  I can't imagine Reggie being like "Well that's a logical leap: from consumer pastime to government screen test."

The Beauty of Garage Sales.

The Boyfriend and are enjoying a nice weekend stay in central IL again, and yesterday morning he and a friend went out t the garage sales that seem to pop up everywhere down here during this time of the year.  And boy did he get a deal.

Get this: for 5 bucks the Boyfriend was able to purchase...

*an NES

* three NES games: Super Mario Bros/Duckhunt, Tecmo Bowl and Punch Out

*two NES controllers

*Duckhunt controller

*Sega Genesis

*two Genesis controllers 

*two Genesis games: NBA Jam and Urban Hunt

... all stuffed into one book bag.

As soon as he came back and showed, I proclaimed it was Christmas!  

Is he going to keep everything?  Probably not.  I do know I demand to play Punch Out at least once before it gets sent away if it does.

Linguists and Maps with SNES

Check it out here.  Basically it's mapping out the different pronunciations of the Nintendo Entertainment system and it's super descendent.  I have a soft spot for linguistics when it comes to regional terms and accents.  

Two posts in one day?  It happens.

Some Thoughts on E3

Alright, this thing called E3 is happening, and if you don't know what it is, you must've been living under a rock for about 15 years.  The big three console companies had their presentations, so for those of you that care, these are my thoughts.

 Microsoft started out with a huge bang this year that there was no way Sony or Nintendo could follow.  They are staying faithful to their market, especially with the announcement of Halo Reach.  Also, Metal Gear Solid: Rising was a great surprise, and I'm glad that the franchise can continue without sucking the life out of Snake.  Yeah geezer stealth!

However, the biggest thing to come out of Microsoft's E3 conference is the announcement of Project Natal.  Basically its a peripheral camera that is used as the controller input.  So instead of pressing A to kick, you actually kick, in the direction.  If you look at the intro video I linked to there's a lot of dorky miming involved, but it's fun dorky miming!  Its also a way to do video chat with friends, and apparently pick out pretty dresses for the party.  You know what I'm using to use that for? Across the country wine parties!

I think the big change that this could bring to video games is the need of literal skill to be good at some games.  You will have to physically kick better and turn faster in real terms rather than just having dexterous fingers.  It will be interesting to see how many traditional gamers will cross over. 

The scariest thing that has come out of this is the Milo Project.  This is a character that can read your voice and face and tell how are you feeling, and then you can befriend him.  Can someone say replacement for actual human contact?  Like there aren't enough of us who have at one point or another had relationships on the internet replace real ones.  There are already men out there that are in love with their real dolls, do we need people to marry people made out of pixels?

Despite my fears for the future, Microsoft definitely blew everyone away with Project Natal.  Some say that this is Microsoft's answer to the Wii, but I just think this is the natural evolution that would happen in response to the Wii.  If we find that immersive play is what the public wants, this is the next step.

Speaking of the Wii, I saw most of the Nintendo Conference through a live stream.  Like the last couple of years, it was NOT exciting to watch, even though some exciting things were mentioned.  But even the exciting thing were few and far between.  Most of it involved new mario games, like Super Mario Bros. on the Wii with four player action, and a new 3D Super Mario game.  The new Final Fantasty Crystal Chronicles game doesn't catch my attention too much but it is good that Nintendo isn't forgetting about some of its hardcore audience.  Oh!  New Metroid game!  Can't forget about that!  The Wii is going to have some good selection.

The Nintendo DS games were very "meh" to me.  A lot of them are already out in Japan, so porting them for the U.S. market isn't big news.  Also, the Golden Sun announcement may be big to RPG fans, but I'm not that into it.  

The vital scan thing for your finger on the Wii?  Really guys?  Not innovative at all.  I don't see how that's going to be exciting.  Nor do I see how the additions to WiiFit are going to be exciting either, but at least I know that already sells.

I don't care about Sony, but I'll discuss it a little bit here.  Essentially there are a lot of exciting games coming out for the PS3 that I would play if I could drop the bones for a PS3.  But I don't have the money so I am just going to wait until half those games will be on my future gaming PC that the Boyfriend will build.  Final Fantasy is continued to be sucked dry for big bucks, but I'm all cynical about the series in general.  Also more Metal Gear Solid with the original Snake, taking place in 1970.  

The PSP Go looks kind of spiffy, but also kind of pricey.  I don't know if i would pay that much for a portable system, since I already have a multimedia machine to watch movies on an airplane.  It's called a laptop.  And the new motion sensor?  Dude, now that you're the copy cat, that is not going to help your sales.  Do what you do well or do what everyone is doing but better.  Don't just do what the cool kids are doing because they're getting sales, because people can smell a wannabe from a mile away.

And that's all for now.  

An Update on Bob: Huge Ego, Little Logic

Remember Bob?  That guy who was trying to get published by protesting to Nintendo instead of building up his business?  Well I figured I would take a gander at his site and see what happened since I last posted about him.

I get the sense that he's at it again, protesting Nintendo for not glorifying his crappy game. His crappy website doesn't quite make what he's doing clear, considering it's got all this stuff about aliens attacking him and such.  That's right, on the website for his one-man business, he's got a story going on about how aliens attacked him and his attempt to contact them.  Excuse me?

On top of that, this site isn't user friendly.  If you're going to have a website advertising your product, learn some HTML and put information on separate pages.  I'm tired of having to scroll down to berate this guy.

Oh, there's more.  I wish not, but there is.  Bob went to the Nintendo World Store in NYC and proceeded to advertise his unofficial game by handing out cards, dropping them all over the floor, putting up posters on the walls inside and out, and putting empty game cases for his game up on the shelves.  After all that he bought a DS and then played his game on it in the store.  It's all on video here.  I would've embedded it but I decided not to put that kind of disgusting business conduct up on my blog.  I just need to cite my references like a good college student.

Bob keeps on trying to make a point, and I don't think he's sending out the message he thinks he is in his spiked hair, big boots and huge ego.  Bob thinks he's showing the world he's not letting Nintendo stomp on his dream.  What he's actually showing the world is that he's a tool.  A illogical, unsympathetic tool.  I mean, a lot of young guys go through a stage like that.  It's fine.  But don't inflict on a poor guy who's doing a retail stint at a high profile store in the middle of Manhattan thinking he's going to lose his job if you don't get the hell out of his store.  You're not pissing off Miyamoto or Reggie at that point.  You're pissing off the dude who has serious bills to pay and doesn't want to lose his job because some jerk and his groupies decided to raise some hell.  Having worked retail before, I feel a lot more for that manager who called the cops than spoiled Bob.

Bob acts like Nintendo set the rules here and if he breaks them he's going to be the shit.  Well, the rules of business have been established for a long time, longer than Nintendo, and I don't think anyone can consistently break them and be successful.  That is why Bob is not getting Nintendo to publish his game.

It looks like the game will come out on platforms like the iPhone, which is great because I think it is better for that format than the DS in the first place considering what little Bob is doing for the game's control scheme to make it interesting.  When it comes out, I want to hear what people think of it.  I really do.

Once again, good luck Bob.  Just stop being such a dick about the whole thing.

What Doesn't Get You Published: A Lesson in the Video Game Industry

I keep up with GamePolitics.com religiously these days.  Blame The Boyfriend, since he's been introducing me to a lot of good gaming news sites.   So today I wake up to see an article about a guy who attempted to lock himself in his room for 100 days to protest against Nintendo.

"But why would a man do this d20 Sapphire?" you might be asking right now.

This guy (named Robert Pelloni, or Bob) ambitiously created what he calls a "2D adventure game with focus on story, puzzles, item collection and communication" rather than battle sequences.  I may be wrong, but isn't that an RPG?  Sorry, I'll get to my gripes later.

Bob has spent years on this game that he was hoping to port to the DS.  He claims he just needed to purchase a DVD from Nintendo with software that would allow his game to be retail ready.  He contacted Nintendo, he fits all the requirements necessary to legitimately purchase this software, and after being given the run around, Nintendo says they'll here from him in 6-8 weeks.  He waited 17 weeks.  

Bob finds this unacceptable, so he decides to lock himself in his room for 100 days to protest against Nintendo in order to get this software.  I'm sorry... but protest?  When I think of protest  I think of people who are fighting for their human rights or against mistreatment by authority figures.  I think of Martin Luther King Jr. marching down the streets of Chicago for fair and equal housing.  I think of the Suffragette Movement when women starved themselves outside of Congress in order to have the right to vote.  I think of the sit-ins by workers who were being mistreated by their employers during the Industrial Revolution.  I do not think of one guy who made a game and wants a multi-million dollar corporation to take him seriously, because you're no longer talking about what people's rights are.  You're talking about business.

Business is unfair and unjust because it doesn't need to be fair and just 100% of the time.  If Nintendo is not interested in your business, it can refuse to help you develop your game.  It's that simple.  Bob could try to convince them in letters, in game demos, in calling the office as much as possible, but if Nintendo doesn't want to give him the software, it doesn't have to ever.  Protesting was not the right way to go about this.   Finding another way for Nintendo to take the game seriously should've been on Bob's agenda.

My biggest gripe with this is that Bob seems to think he has the right to this software.  But it isn't a right, it's a privilege.  I understand he's up to par with the requirements, but this isn't like a driver's license.  This is not a government-sanctioned permit or something.  It's an opportunity that is given to someone by Nintendo.  It is a privilege to be able to work with such a company.

There are plenty of instances where good game ideas get screwed over.  The Boyfriend has had experience with that.  I won't go into details because it isn't my story to tell, but he essentially had a good game idea, and one of the three console companies loved it and said they just wanted a publisher.  No publishers stepped up to the plate, and one or two even blatantly tried to steal the idea instead of helping The Boyfriend and his company.  It was a big bummer, and now the company is trying stuff again.  But The Boyfriend didn't think he had the right to have a publisher pick him up.  He accepted the road block as part of the business world, which is harsh but something all entrepreneurs have to live with.  Now he and his company are working on other projects in hopes of gaining some ground.  Business isn't fair, and it's a privilege to have a company believe in your idea enough to invest in you, whether you earned it with hard word or not.

In the end, Bob couldn't even finish his protest and stopped after 30 days.  Even as his protested died his arrogance got the best of him.  Look at the news portion of his horribly designed site (horribly designed because I had to scroll a long way to discover there was a news section on his site) and see what he says during his lock-in, and after.  I don't think insulting Nintendo during the protest to plea with them gains you any favor, Bob.  Saying "I am far better than Miyamoto, Itoi, Kojima, Carmack and Wright COMBINED" shows a lack of respect for the same company that you wish to gain favor in.  That's just bad public relations, Bob.  Just as bad as the youtube video that involves you working on your game in nothing but your boxers.  Could you at least put a shirt on?  Most other people do while they're working.

There are things I think about the game to, such as I think it's an RPG rather than an adventure game, and I think it's hard to trust a product that complex made by one man since he could be a jack of all trades and a master at none, making everything just plain old average.  But this isn't what my post is about.  My post is admitting that the business world, even for video games, isn't the nicest place.  If you want to work in that world, you have to accept that sometimes you're not going to get what you want and there's nothing you can do about it.

In all honesty, good luck Bob.  At least you have the ambition and drive to finish such a huge product.  I hope you do get something out of it.