Find the Zoe to your Wash at Soulgeek

It's surprising that I'm doing two posts on one day, but I found this article about where I found The Boyfriend so I figured I would do a bit of a plug, which includes some story time.  If you don't want story you can fast forward to the last paragraph.

*Cue Crazy Fade into Past Transition*

Flashback to May of 2008.  Out of nowhere my now ex broke up with me (right after I got off work too, which kind of sucks when you're broken up to right outside your office and have to explain it to your boss later.)  I was devastated.  Worst week in a long time.  To top it off I had a final the next day and then a final the day after that, both in the morning.  I had no real time to recover.  After two days of wallowing in grief while studying, I thought about it.  I knew what I wanted in a man, key word being man and not "college guy who's finding himself",  I knew I wanted him to have similar interests since explaining RPGs to someone is difficult, and I knew that I wanted to go back home to Chicago in a year.  

And then I remembered Soulgeek.

There had been some ads for it on Something Positive, a webcomic that I adore, so I figured I would give it a try.  I found the site, signed up, and started looking for guys in the Chicagoland area.  Did a search for a while, and then slowly started messaging people.  I had the 10 bucks to pay each month so I did.  And then there was this one profile...

I won't go into what the Boyfriend's profile said, but looking back at it now I have no idea why I messaged him.  And I'm sure he says the same thing about my profile.  I just figured that I might as well send a message and started a conversation about the new D&D edition that came out. And then we played message tag for a while.  I think in an hour's time we sent each other about 5 messages.  And then it moved to AIM.

On AIM I think we had 5-7 hour conversations into the night almost every night for a week.  I found myself staying up until 5am talking to him about a multitude of topics.  We set up a date.  The date mostly consisted of us sitting in parks and talking about everything.  And his arms fit around me pretty well with some pretty awesome hugs.  Next date went even better... the rest is history.

*Cue Less Crazy Transition Back to the Present*

Why choose Soulgeek (that is, if you're looking)?  You'll find someone with similar interests if you're as nerdy as I think you are.  You choose them yourself instead of hoping some wonky computations hitch you with someone.  You don't have to pay to be a member, and to get the special features is only 10 bucks a month when many other dating sites are more expensive.  The site has only been around for a year and a half and already has some great success stories.  It's one of the more genuine sites I've seen too.  And you don't have to be a supermodel to find someone.  It's just a great idea if you're single, geeky, and not internet shy.  And who the hell is internet shy anymore?

A Guide to Geeks: Is that necessary?

I was going to try to spiff up a list of Valentine's gifts for your significant nerdy other, so I went to the fabulous thinkgeek.com to look for some ideas.  As I have mentioned before, it is a great site.  

I go to the suggested Valentine's Day gifts page, and I found this book.

First thought, to be honest: "Cute!"

Second thought: "Wait a sec, really?  A guide to dating a geek?  Like it's that hard?"

It is a humorous idea, that is if you're that kind of girlfriend who feels her significant other's hobbies are just too odd to even get into.  A chick like me, however, is kinda... well, dare I say offended that someone feels this is necessary?

I've been on an "offended" kick to be honest, especially since game politics can't seem to stop talking about Resident Evil 5's racist images.  Maybe I'm just in that mind set.  But there are a few things I would like to gripe about, if you care to read on.

Number One: Why are geeks so different than any other guy?

This is something that I dont' get.  From what I found, every guy that I know has some hobby that they LOVE to invest a ton of time in.  Whether it's football, music, video games, or any other hobby, guys tend to choose a thing or two that they like and then stick with it.  Geek hobbies are not any different, just possibly a bit more foreign to some people.  Which leads to the next question...

Number Two: Why don't you just ask your boyfriend about his interests?

Seriously, communication people!  Essential for any good relationship.  Maybe instead of investigating about your boyfriend's hobby behind his back, why not ask him?  Since it's his hobby, he'd probably love to talk to you about it until your ears fall off.  Maybe you could even, I don't know, try out a game or watch a movie and see if you may like it too.  You may have some hidden nerd potential.  And if you feel like you can't have a conversation about your boyfriend's interests, dump him and get another one.

Number Three: Are geeks such a burden?

Okay, this may be the joking part of the game, but sometimes I get the feeling that the "general populous" (aka people who say they are normal but are actually dirty freaks on the inside) finds there is something defective in geeky hobbies.  I can't say I'm into anime without people asking if I live in my parents basement.  And if I mention my boyfriend is off playing Guild Wars, a lot of other women look at me sympathetically, as if he's cheating on me.  Uh, no.  It's just like if you're married to someone into football and you're not.  You just hang out with your friends on game day while he stays home rooting for his home team.

To be honest, in my relationship I'm the football enthused one when I have the time, The Boyfriend is not a sports person as all.  I find that funny.

Number Four: Why so gender specific?

This is the question where you can tell I am a liberal arts student.  Why is it that it's the girl that needs to learn on how to "cope" with her new geek boyfriend?  What if a guy was dating a geek girl and had no idea why she was totally into the X-Men?  What if it was a gay or lesbian couple?  Would it change much?  For the information in this book, probably not.  Or lack of useful information it seems.

Look, if you suck at relationships, no book about geeks is going to help you understand your significant other regardless of whether or not they've reached level 80 on WoW.  Being a good partner will help with any hobby gaps.  As long as there isn't a big difference in values (for example, "You can't have a fiction girlfriend in Vampire!  I'm jealous."  "But it's just a game!"), then any relationship can get over a couple different preferences in extracurricular activities.

Geek Couples: Why is it that the girl converts?

This post is going to be a little bit different than some of my others, because it's solely based on my observations.  No links to articles or anything like that.  I know, you like it when I do something that's based on source material, but give this a try guys!

Since Valentines' day is near, let's talk about geeky couples.  Who's the Zoe to your Wash, the Zelda to your Link, the Cleric to your Fighter, the Mario to your Peach?

I find that relationship to be a weird one myself, but anyway you get the point.  Some of you out there are lucky like me and have a nerdy person to love.  Some of you are hunting down someone, and some of you are happy to fool around with any attractive female in the cosmos like our beloved Captain Kirk.  Whatever your position may be in life, we all know there are nerd couples out there, but there's an interesting pattern that I have noticed.

I recently started thinking about it with one of my housemates here at school.  She has a boyfriend who's a big nerd.  He taught my housemate how to play Magic the Gathering, which, for those of you who don't know, a game that is made of crack.  At least for a lot of my guy friends, collecting cards is a life passion.  I've had a couple exes who were into it, and tried to get me into it.  My housemate was never really into it before but now she's playing it with him a lot.  And then I started thinking about other nerd couples I know, and the pattern started to arise...

Why is it that it's the guy introducing the girl into something geeky 9 times out of 10?

Boyfriends are more likely to be the primary nerd in the relationship, passing on the info to the girlfriend who, either having the info thrust upon them or actually interested in the subject at hand, will try their best to pick up why the nerd hobby is so important.  Rarely do you get instances where the girl is showing the guy something nerdy.  And even if they are into something nerdy, it's usually because of another male influence.  I have friend who introduced her boyfriend to Star Wars, but she got into it because of her previous boyfriend.  I have friends who got into stuff because of their brothers or fathers.  Rarely do I hear someone, ANYONE say "my girlfriend/mom/sister/gal pal got me into [insert nerd hobby here]"

Now I know there are girls who got into stuff without a male influence.  My mom is the reason I'm so nerdy, and a good friend of mine from high school introduced me to Dungeons and Dragons (although, going back to my point, her dad was into it and introduced her to it).  My friend who does the Uncharted 2 blog got into a lot of this nerd stuff herself, especially her love of comic books.  But I find that this is not the norm.  Even I didn't get into Starcraft until the Boyfriend essentially thrusted it upon me.  Oh wait, I mean the game, he thrusted the game... oh goddamn it.

Why is it that girls are usually "pulled" into the fandoms?  Why aren't they attracted to it themselves?  That I have no theory on.  I just find it interesting that this is the current pattern.  over time I think it will become more even.

There are a couple exceptions to the rule: literature, web comics and anime/manga.  Those are some things that girls easily dig into on their own without a male influence.  Especially anime, with their cat girls.  Ugh.  

I want to know what you guys think.  Are my observations correct, or am I totally out of the loop on this one?