Credentials, respect, and STEM fields diversity: How I relate to DNLee

I just read about what happened to DNLee, a blogger for Scientific American. Have you not heard what happened to her?  Well you can read about it here on her blog.  There's also a decent rundown of the incident on Buzzfeed.  The short of it is that a gentleman for a not so well known science blog asked DNLee to write pro-bono for his website.  She politely declined and the response attacked her profession, background and gender all in one horrible sentence: Are you an urban scientist or an urban whore?

Quick list of how ridiculous this response is:

1) It's super personal for someone who never met this person
2) It's racist and sexist in one fell swoop
3) It's certainly not professional
4) It ruins any chance of potentially changing a potential blogger's mind in the future

DNLee actually did a pretty good response about not only why she declined the proposal sent to her and how she felt about the response to her:


I am sure there are plenty of people who can relate to the feelings expressed in the video. The idea that one should feel "lucky" to share their expertise they've worked hard for and should just share their talents for free.  It can happen because you're a minority, or a woman, or even because you're education is considered "below par" for your field despite many proven accomplishments.  Or sometimes you just deal with someone who's being a complete jerk.

DNLee makes some good points.  Don't settle because someone decides you should.  Figure out what your baselines are for your work.  Stick to them.

But she shares a struggle that happens all the time for people in many science fields, and again in minority groups.  Although we may like to believe there is, in America there is not a lot of varied representation of people in STEM careers.  Most of them are white, most of them are men, and there is a lot of overlap with those two groups.  On top of that there is a lot of the public who will freak out if it turns out that it isn't the atypical person who's actually knowledgeable, let alone interested, in anything scientific or mathematical.  Does anyone else remember when the internet exploded because it found out the person who runs the I Fucking Love Science page on Facebook is a woman?  I do mean people freaked out.  Was it the combo of her being a woman who didn't mind cursing on the internet who also really fucking loves science?  I don't know but I remember being ashamed not only that people were reacting poorly to it, but that I was surprised a woman ran the site.  What the hell was wrong with my head that I assumed that Facebook page was run by a man?

It's a societal thing, and it's a societal thing that is due to get in the way of a better future.  We need to have people invest in science, be interested in every scientific field, to help make the future fantastic.  We can't be discouraging anyone from the field.  For every DNLee who knows her worth, there are a ton more people who've been wrongfully turned away from a field because someone thought they didn't "fit the profile".

Did I ever mention to you guys that ever since junior high, when a teach in eight grade told me I never needed math again, I sabotage myself in my math skill all through college?  Those little things make a difference throughout life.  I'm not going to make excuses, and I am glad there was a a professor at college that pointed out how ridiculous that whole premise was and did his best to smack me out of it.  P.S., random shout out to Robert Rebelein, who despite his not very well updated website was possibly one of the best professors I had the pleasure of working with in my undergraduate career.  He treated me like an adult before I realized that's how I should be treated. He let me know if I wanted to be an economist, I could be despite getting a C in my first economics class.  I wish I had more people earlier in my life (outside my awesome parents) that told me I could do whatever the hell I wanted with hard work.  That I could do math--it wasn't just a guy skill or "not relevant" to the rest of my life.  You'd be surprised how those little influences change you.

Getting back to my point, if we just convince ourselves that only a small group of people are able to do science, let alone be respected in the field for it, we are doing future science a disservice.  For those of you who do have STEM talents, take it from DNLee: people are lucky to have your expertise around, not you being lucky to share it.  We need you around and you are valued.  We don't care what you look like, where you came from, or even who you love.  Just keep being awesome.  We need your STEM goodness!

One last thing: Everyone should be encouraging the next generation to take up science fields.  Not forcing, mind you.  But nudging.  It's really the only way we can secure a better, brighter future for ourselves.

How about a lady nerd talks about lady nerds?

A friend of mine actually introduced me to a bit of a controversy in the blogosphere via facebook.  It started on CNN's Geek Out with an article by Joe Peacock, called Booth Babes Need Not Apply.  Peacock is tired of sexy ladies taking advantage of men's engrossment of the female form.  How dare women dress up in nerdy costumes merely seeking attention and not actually give a rat's ass about high scores or critical hits or comic book artists!  You need to earn the right to play dress up around male nerds and seek their attention.  You can't just claim to be a nerd because you look good dressed as Laura Croft.

How dare you be attractive when you don't know the master cheat code to Contra!

In comes John Scalizi. and he's here to save all geeks from this vile persecution.  Peacock doesn't get to choose who's a geek.  Nobody does!  Ladies can be geeks if they dress up for attention, and no one should give a fuck!  All you need to do is share the geekitude, spread the love, and you'll be a geek.  No one can tell you otherwise, no one!

Be free to be sexy and nerdy without judgement,  pretty lady!

Alright, stop it.  Stop it with the circle jerk of I AM THE DEFENDER OF MY PEOPLE ON THE INTERNET.  Both writers are guilty of this.  Peacock is trying to defend his fellow geeks from being assaulted by others who don't get it.  That's fair.  Nerds are used to having to explain themselves and having people tell them they're weird or a freak or need to lay off the magic cards.  Geeks can easily get  defensive.  Part of the reason I wear my nerdy hobbies on my sleeve is the anticipation of being the weirdo.  Luckily, things have gotten better overtime, and if my kids are as serious of Star Trek and dice rolling as I am I doubt they'll get nearly as much grief as I have had, let alone what my mother dealt with.

The era of having to be over protective is over.  Sure, there are still jerks out there.  But with the internet and conventions and main stream acceptance of quirky hobbies, you are never alone.  So when a woman is paid by a company to look attractive as your favorite sci-fi character, it's not an attack on you or a way to trick you into trusting the wrong person.  It's a sales tool, which is never anything against you.  If anything take it as a compliment.  It's something that any person in any hobby or walk of life experiences deals with when they're considered important in this capitalist era we live in.  Everyone deals with it, and anyone who can should have the right to earn money for looking good in (little to no) clothing.

I do agree with Scalizi for the most part.  There is no hierarchy to decide who is a real nerd and who's a poser.  If you have a hobby that you love and like to share your enthusiasm with other people, then it shouldn't matter what the technical labels are, just have fun.  I just don't like the way that it had to be him to swoop down and defend women in the geek world.  More importantly, I don't like that it had to be a him to have the legitimate voice.  It had to be another male saving women from male persecution.  Well, okay, it's not really persecution, no one's rights are at stake or anything like that.  But still a man had to be the one to say "It's okay for women to do things!"

This just might be my little inner feminist (by the way, feminist is not a dirty word) coming out and saying that this is one of those instances where we need the "patriarchy" to say what is okay for women to do inside the "patriarchy".  Although I've seen the gender disparity in the geek world lessen in the short time I've been participating in it, it's still a male dominated set of hobbies.  There is nothing inherently wrong with that.  What's frustrating is that since it's mostly guys in that world, it's mostly guys having to justify not only when a gal is "good" enough to participate but also call out other guys for being assholes.  And you know what, Scalizi is right.  No one should care who's doing whatever fun activity in their own little nerd sphere anyway.  In turn, no man should ever has to disqualify or requalify a woman's right to do something nerdy.

I wish there were more women in better positions, or even just more willing, to swoop in and call out the assholes.

We nerd women need to be the ones to tell people, mostly men, to back off and let us enjoy our hobbies.  We shouldn't need to have some guy to say it for us.  We need to be the aggressive defenders of our hobbies.  There are some of us out there that are responding to Pecock's article, and that's exactly what we need to do.  Stop picking on us, we'll bite back.  We need to do it in full force.  We need to do it at the same time.  Part of the reason that some people pick on a certain group in a hobby is because they don't take the group serious.  Well dammit, we nerd ladies are seriously into our nerdiness.  We'll be happy to let you know.

Finally, for any person that has been in the real world, we should ALL know that there will ALWAYS be people seeking attention.  Yes, sometimes that's sexy cosplay, and it works, but there are plenty of men and women who do many things because they crave the attention of others.  If you haven't encountered this, you're a hermit.  This is one of those frequent personality types you'll meet and have to accept.  The best thing to do is note it and move on.  Some things in life you can't change.  One of them is that attention seekers exist.  If you don't like, how about you stop giving them attention.  At least then they'll stop pestering you for it.

Gender Analysis: Half Life 2

Hello everyone.  I apologize for the delay and I will tomorrow be posting about the abysmal showing at E3 (the structure of the critique will be a bit different this time) but I need to keep to a promise I made.  I am introducing my Gender Analysis on Video Games.  I decided to start with a game that has gotten some acclaim for representation of women--Half Life 2.  Specifically, the representation of Alyx has been hailed for being one of the best lead female characters ever in the field of video games.  But how revolutionary is the game itself in regards to gender equality?

We've tackled physics and crab zombies, let's tackle social constructs next.

My standards I discussed in April post introducing the idea can be found here.  For this test I played the first five hours of the game and with the help of Mystic took the necessary notes for the review.

Gender Ratio of Main Characters (female to male)

2:6

The side characters did seem evenly dispersed, but when it came to main characters that affected the plot overall, it was heavily male.  For every 3 main characters that are male, there's only one woman.

Sexualization of Characters (female to male)

0:0

There were no characters whatsoever that were sexualized in this game in the first five hours.  Not even close.  Considering the setting, it makes sense that no one is worried about that.

Gender Assumptive Dialogue

0 counts

Although there was an old doctor hitting on Alyx that kind of gave me the creeps, there was never anything spoken that had to be qualified with gender.  Getting hit on isn't a gender thing, even if it's creepy.  Also would like to note that the two female main characters I met were possibly breaking a couple stereotypes by being scientist and engineers, meaning they're well educated and savvy with math.  Not something that gets recognized a lot in the real world, let alone in fiction.

The Bechdel Test

Did Not Pass

Alyx speaks with Judith Morrison for 20 seconds about something other than a man.  May I also add that they're bickering about something.  Not only are there only women you see in the first 5 hours, they're not allowed to like each other.

CONCLUSION 

The main character line up unfortunately falls short.  You also don't have women have a decent conversation amongst each other.  The trope of women being against each other because women can "never get along" is overdone.  But women are obviously equals, not sex objects or people to be rescued.  They are equals when they are given a chance to shine, and they can look out for themselves and be intelligent allies.  I can see where Alyx has received the praise she did, and I honestly wish there were more female characters like her--strong-willed, smart, and not an object to be won. 

I would rate this game above average for a video game.  It's a step in the right direction to making women equal and not other.  If more video games took this step we'd be on the right track to better representation.  But there is still work to be done.

I said I wouldn't do a number rating because you can't necessarily put a quantitative conclusion with all the numbers we will be looking at.  They just help show why the quality of a games gender quality is better or worse than average.  For this spectrum of quality we'll be looking at, I would definitely put Half-Life 2 closer to true equality than not even though it could take wider strides to have women better represented.

I'm going to go through what I have in my gaming library first and then branching out to other games, we'll look at past and present games to see how things have changed and how they've stayed the same.  Feel free to recommend a game or two.  Remember, the analysis isn't to seek out what games are most women friendly per se, it's to see how the industry as a whole is in it's mindset toward women.

This is how not to discuss representation of women in RPGs

As a nerd woman I'm used to being in the minority and having to fight a couple of battles here and there about how I'm represented (if at all) in my nerd spheres.  The only nerd circle I knew to not have such a disparity is Anime, but let's not touch the plethora of gender issues in the genre.

So when someone wants to discuss the complicated issue of gender representation in RPG art, there is a lot you can actually say and a lot of opinions you can have.  That's the kind of article I expect to read, an article that expresses a concrete opinion.  Not some drivel that merely states I'll draw it because I'll get paid.

Jon Schindehette's article had an opportunity to truly engage with a point of view with someone who had industry experience.  Instead, we got someone who affirmed that he draws what they're given and asking several times for a reader's opinion without asserting his own.  The reason that this is excruciatingly frustrating is that this totes itself about addressing gender in RPG art and then discusses nothing.  Not the history, not the depictions, not even a personal opinion developed from years of experience drawing for the industry (specifically the most well known series that started the hobby).

If we continue to pretend we're having a discussion, there is no resolution.  We're not even sure what the resolution is because the industry has barely ever talked about the problem.  And yes, it can be a serious problem.  I do know at least with my experience, DnD has tried to be somewhat equal, but at the same time there are plenty of other RPG publishers who have gone out of their way to not be because they "know" that they have to cater to a male audience.

What's my opinion?  I personally don't like that the usual archetype for a chick who kicks ass either has to become male in her mannerisms or becomes the incredible eye candy with a gun.  I'm tired of it.  Not all gunslinging women have their tits out, just like not all gunslinging men eat raw meat and smoke 2 foot long cigars.  I want characters to be complex, no matter what setting I'm in and what gender or color or size or whatever the heck physical aspects they are.  That would show some maturity in the industry.  It's getting there, but we do have a long way to go.

The next time that someone wants to write an article, please, for the love of the written word, actually SAY something.

Shedding light on women in video games

For a while I was thinking of doing a series of let's plays for video games to shed some light on games who have good representation of women, but I'm finding that most video games do NOT.  Not even the ones I love.

So instead, I'm planning on reviewing the gender equality in video games I played and play.  There are not a lot of games that get it awesome enough that I want to encourage people to look to it as a great example.  With the research I've done (not a lot but from good sources) I have come with a few tests to see what can be revealed about the gender equality in a video game title or series.

Gender Ratio:  What is the representation of males to females?  Is there a story or technical reason why it may shift one way or the other?  Or is it just poor planning?  This will be rated on the ratio found for the main characters--characters that are absolutely necessary for the gameplay and story.  Having an even balance of background characters will not make up for having only one female lead in the story.  There will be a nod if gender identity is discussed in an intellectual way.

Sexualization Ratio: How many men are overtly sexualized versus women?  This is comparing the representation of a person's sexual identity compared to how much one could expect to see on the street.  How a character is dressed (or more importantly isn't dressed) is not the soul factor of this ratio.  It's how it's portrayed, is that sexuality something inherent to understanding the character in the context of the game?  Is their heightened focus on their attractiveness or prowess in the bedroom?

Gender-Assumptive Dialogue:  How many times do you hear something akin to "She's tough enough to fight with the men." or "He's extremely sensitive, I expect him to have PMS with the ladies."?  Anything that assumes a personality or physical trait that is not sex but gender oriented is marked down.  This is marked by number of times I've noted it during my play.  Again, sex is a scientific classification, gender is a social construct.  Sex is the fact a woman has a uterus, gender is the idea that only women wear dresses.

The Bechdel Test:  How many times can you find two women talking to each other about a something other than a man?  It has to be dialogue that last at least 30 seconds or longer of talking time.  I like to thank Feminist Frequency for enlightening me for this test.

For all of these test, I'm going to account for at least 5 hours of gameplay.  within 5 hours of gameplay of any part of a game you should be able to get a good idea of what the dynamic will be for these characters.  I'll be honest with where I started and stopped, and I won't begin right at the first cut-scene.  I'll start after the tutorial (which tends to be the clumsiest part of most games).

After these four factors, I'll do a qualitative analysis of the overall experience.  No number will truly give a good idea of how gender-equal a game is, but they will help give an honest impression to do the overall analysis.

I'm going to start with a good amount of games I play and know, but then I'm going to branch out to other stuff.  There are some games I'm really interested to see how they play out (like the Half-Life series that I haven't played yet because I'm a horrible nerd) and this will also be an awesome way to replay some games I love.  I'll also need help with multiplayer games I have, so please feel free to message me on Steam or Origin (d20sapphire) and help me conduct my research.

Please leave some suggestions as to what games I should play!

One of the reason nerdom can be male dominated.

Once again I have a thing I found on the internet that got me thinking.  This time it was a video discussing the horrible choices Lego has made in marketing with their new line of Lego Friends for girls.  There are two videos, but the first one is the one that I want to post here for you all to watch.


Here is a link to part 2, and both the videos are rather fantastic at analyzing how Lego, through their own choices, alienated young girls from their market only to try to bribe them back with weak offshoots.

This got me thinking about a lot of my hobbies and choices, and how a lot of the problem is how the producers of game, whether table top games or video games, or even a good amount of fantasy and sci-fi, assume that women are just not interested in the genre.

Now when it comes to the stuff on television, it's a 50/50 chance that your going to have something that doesn't address societal gender roles in a semi-thoughtful way.  For every great character that is a strong lead regardless of gender  there is one that obviously advertised as a hypersexualized fantasy for the "male audience" to gawk at and drool.  I use quotes because again, it's generalizations taken to an extreme in the hopes of making more money. Luckily shows like Buffy, Fringe, and Star Trek exist to help break those stereotypes that media first thought necessary for ratings.

Video games are entirely different story on that front.  Part of it may be that the medium is younger, but you would think that all the progress that has been made for television series to stop writing women in a specific corner, video games would be able to use that progress to their advantage.  Instead for over 50% of whats out there to play you have two reasons for women to be in a video game:  To be hot enough to look at or two be saved.  And why is that?  Because video games are part of a boys club that their a lot more blatant about than many other mediums and markets.

You have games totally devoid of women,  games that only have women in background as stereotypical supporting roles, or games that hypersexualize a female lead in hopes of enticing their target audience.  Some game series try to rectify the situation, but most don't and the ones that try rarely ever scratch the surface.  I feel a lot of this is done under the assumption that men wouldn't want to play a game where a woman is just as capable as he is, as if a woman who is strong or smart or has choices is a threat.  

Yes, for some men this is a threat, but that doesn't make it right to validate this idea to your market.  It's irresponsible for producers of any medium to perpetuate ideas that hinder or undermine anyone in society. That's what this representation of women in video games does: undermine the equality of women in our daily world.

I'm not saying this to totally rag on video games.  You know I play them, you can even friend me on Steam if you want to help me shoot zombies someday.  But I think there are a lot of things we have to think about when we support a game.  The gameplay may be good and the multiplayer may be bangin', but does it support ideas you're uncomfortable with?  Then don't play it.  There are plenty of other games out there that can suit your needs.  

And we have to do this for any hobby that we participate in. Not comfortable with the portrayal of women in the artwork of an RPG book?  You can probably find a game with what you like that's less offensive, possibly even for free.  Sci-fi series makes you cringe at it's representation of minorities?  There are so many more for you to watch, past and present.  If you want to see women, or anyone for that matter, better represented in your hobbies and interests, you have to work to make sure they get the support they need.  Just because people before decided things worked best a certain way doesn't mean they were right and doesn't mean we can't change it.

I just randomly thought about doing a let's play of games with great female leads or female characters that are not just caricatures and stereotypes.  Use that let's play to then fund a woman's group.  Like a lot of my ideas, it may just go to the wayside, but it definitely is something I wish to consider.  Now that I have whole days off of work on a consistent schedule, I would love to contribute to the greater good of video games (and nerdom) in the future.  

A short discussion on biases in video game production

I was bad and I didn't write every day.  I'm sorry, I'll make it up to you somehow.

In the meantime, let's briefly talk about something that has been on my mind for a while.  Cracked.com is a great source for amusing articles that make you think.  One that got me thinking was this one about prejudices that still exist in mainstream movies.  It got me thinking about video games, namely because the two are always compared to each other.  To be honest I don't think it's a fair comparison, but that's a different essay for a different day.

My first thought is that video games are better than movies when it comes to some of those stereotypes.  But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that video games tend to have their own problems, for different reasons.

One of the things that has been pointed out before (and of course as I write this I can't find the image I'm thinking of) is that many modern video game heroes look the same:  Well built Caucasian male with brunette hair and dashing good looks.  Unfortunately, like most of the opinions I'll be sharing, here, I'm not able to determine anything with any research.  But my assumption would be that it's because many of the people who have started in the video game industry, and many of the people who work in the cvdeo game industry, are white males.  Even if you have the marketing demographics in intense details saying that he demographic is leaning toward another audience, it's hard for someone creating something to create something that he or she would never be interested in.  And with video games, the appeal is that you are the hero.  If the "you" is a white guy, you're going to idolize what you can relate to--a  more handsome white guy.

I will say though, that a lot of good video games have been good at letting the player decide who they are idolizing.  I have never played a "white" character in any bioware game because I haven't had to play one.  I made the hero to whatever specifications I wanted.  Hell, I had Barack Obama Shepard save the universe in ME2.  This doesn't, however, mean that the developers are forward thinking.  This merely means they are willing to have their audience shape their own experience, and even then to a small extent compared to everything that they have shaped for their audience that won't change.  This isn't necessarily a sign of forward thinking.  This is however, a sign of acceptance that different people, for whatever reasons, want something different out of their gameplay experience.

Even then, sometimes games that mean well can use stereotypes and old ideas to shape the stories they tell.  Or they don't realize exactly what they're doing and what horrible history they're tapping into.  I've spoken about this a couple years ago when I was belatedly addressing the Resident Evil 5 objections.  It's not the only game to have touched upon that either.  I'm not real pleased that the evil Karma side to Cole in inFamous 2 is black swamp tribal lady Nix.  I can tell they tried to make a complex character in Nix, but the problem is that she plays to many of the stereotypes that western society has had for centuries about black people, and stereotypes that people still play to this day.  I'm not going to say these developers are inherently racist, that would seem unfair to label a whole team of people like that.  But I do think they are unaware of the societal norms they've played into, and how best to fight them for the betterment of mutual understanding among every human being.  It makes breaking stereotypes hard when they are validated over and over again in the media.

Speaking of stereotypes, lets not just pick on racial issues.  Gender is also something that video games has a hard time dealing with in a neutral way.  Again, I'm not trying to say the whole industry is (intentionally) sexist.  There is a lot of stuff that is buried in our societal norms that are going to be hard to fight.  Like the severe attraction to waify women who in reality are not strong enough to hold huge dense metal swords or traverse in caverns with arms that have no upper body strength. I have no problem with women being able to do these things.  It's just these women have arms like me, and I know I can't do that stuff.  Maybe a woman built like this could do all that stuff, but they're not idolized in these games.  We're still going for the frail frame build when women are in video games, because in video games women are sexualized 95% of the time.  The kind of sexualization process that mass media will do is making women weaker and more frail, something that you still want to protect from something.  Games do that stuff because it helps sell the game to their mostly male demographic.  In fact, you'll find in some games when they don't intentionally do that to the character, there is a fanbase who will.  Dont' believe me?  Talimancers.

Tali'Zorah vas Neema nar Rayya, now in the cannon Tali'Zorah vas Normandy, is probably one of the strongest, independent female characters in the video game industry, possibly up there with Jade and Alyx Vance with female characters who were not put in just to be sexual objects to oggle at while teen boys killed things.  Okay, maybe not that revolutionary, but she's up there.  When you meet here in Mass Effect, she is a pilgram looking for something that would help her people in fighting the geth, willing to take big risks on her own.  She's nerdy, sleeping in the engine room and able to hack AI from a mile away.  And by Mass Effect 2, you find her confidence and her duty has only grown.  You first meet her young and hopeful, then you find her again determined and steadfast.  She grows up to be an independent woman who chooses to help humanity fight the reapers merely because Shepard is a good friend.  Sure, you can romance her, but it's a mutual respect, a love that grows out of admiration that Tali and Shepard have for each other.  It's not all about allure, it's about deep feelings.  It has to be when you can't even see her friggin face!

Seriously, are you automatically attracted to a space suit?  Because you may want to speak to a professional about that.

On top of that, when her family's honor is on the line she has not problem cursing out her elders while in court.  She a tough, smart woman.

But that is not what you get when you read through some of the posts of her most "loyal" fans, the talimancers.   They talk about how they want to protect her, how she's shy, how she needs to be comforted.  Excuse me?  This girl has fought the geth off on her own and you think YOU can protect her because she occasionally stutters?  It's like they only are attracted to this intelligent woman if she's socially awkward and needs to be nurtured.  Don't worry, Bioware boys, you got you wish, just in a different universe.

No need to project on Tali, Merril will help you with your insecurities.

It's frustrating.  The archetypes of what makes a woman attractive have become so ingrained that if we can't find on that fits it in our preferred fictional universe, we project what we want on one of those characters that would seem to fit it the most. Why wouldn't the industry cater to that if it gets them money?

This is one where even the choices still don't affect the build of the character.  You can have a different look in the hair, skin tone, and face, but the body will always be the same, and it will always appeal to the male demographic, or what the developers will feel appeal to that demographic.  I know that not all men want to oggle at small waists and big boobs, and it's not a crime to like that.  I'm merely asking for some better variety and support complex characters.

Like movies, video games have their tropes that they stick to, some of them prejudiced.  However, because of the custom aspects that games have introduced, and how it's more integrated with feedback from the fanbase, it'll be easier for games to evolve past these things in some respects.  Then again, it's hard to fight industry norms, especially when you're in an industry ruled by giants (console and developer-wise).  What's really going to matter is what we, the gamers, enjoy over time and end up going back to.  If we don't like what's become the standard, we'll just have to gravitate to games that break that standard.  Video games have thrived in a capitalist structure, and we'll have to choose what we want in that structure.  

With that in mind, support all kinds of games, the big and the small.  Choose the big production games carefully, and sing praises to the indie developers who are doing something you love.  This is true for all aspects of video games, not just the prejudice issues I've just discussed.  It's the only way the industry is going to have what you want to play.

She's still Shepard.

By the always entertaining Penny Arcade, I was alerted to something that has become an unnecessary shitstorm when it comes to the marketing of Mass Effect 3.  Fans are allowed to choose the next FemShep that would be on some of the advertising by voting for their favorite of 6 choices.  You like the picture (or pictures) on Facebook, and each like is a vote.  Whichever one has the most votes will "win", I guess.  Here are the 6 ladies you can choose from.

I made them big enough so you can get a good look at the differences.  Again, if you care,  you can "like" the one you want on their facebook page.

Apparently there is some controversy over the blonde one winning.  Which she is by a large margin.  I'm not surprised.  I am surprised that people are that concerned about it.  Anybody who has been engaged in western media should not be surprised that the blonde Shepard is the one that is preferred.  What makes it outrageous is that the people who are vocally opposed to blonde femShep say it's because she's too "Barbie" and suffers from a "personality vacuum".  How do you get that from one picture?  I see no high heels or designer prada bags, and right now the only personality point I get from any of these pictures is that Shepard is on the verge of using her gun on someone.

Penny Arcade recently posted their disdain for these opinions.  I have to agree.  To be perfectly honest, I'm not going to vote for one of those Shepards.  I have two female Shepards that I love to play.  Neither one of them look anything like the ones that are on facebook right now.  And my male Shepard looks just like Obama, because why not?  So why should I care what is on the advertising?  It obviously didn't affect my purchase or my enjoyment of the game.  It shouldn't affect anyone elses.

Maybe people are relating it more to how in American culture (and maybe others, but I'll speak about my own) the perception of what's beautiful tends to be somewhat anglo-fied.  Sure, maybe you don't like how that works.  But getting mad at a vote on facebook that is essentially "pick your favorite pretty picture"is not going to change the world.  You're expecting too much at this point.  Bioware has everyone right to figure out what people would prefer to play as in their video games.  They try to keep statistics on that stuff all the time.  God forbid they listen to what the majority of voting public would like.  Again, we're getting mad at a business for being a business when you do something like that.

If you want to push for heroes that are not always the standard pretty, go ahead and do something more proactive about it.  But if you're going to call one model of Shepard "Barbie" and a void of personality merely by hair and skin color alone, you're being just as prejudice at the culture you are trying to rebel from.  Shepard is still going to save the universe from the reapers*, regardless of his or her looks.  Mass Effect 1 and 2 proved that with every play-through every fan experienced.  One blonde model of Shepard on the advertising is not going to change what already happened in the story.  Only you as the player can.  Play with your Shepard, and move on.  The box art is not going to hurt.

Final thought: would these critics be saying this if is was a male blonde Shepard?  I think not.  Looks like ideals of beauty are not the only things we have to work on.

*That is, as long as your choices in the game didn't already fuck it up for your Shepard.  Which I can't predict right now. 

Are there "female" games?

Before I start, I want to say hello to any new readers I acquired from the Bioware forums.  I'm glad you all liked my female characters in games essay, and I hope some of you will like this one.

Around the same time I realized a lot of people on the Bioware forums were reading my post, I also had a small conversation with some people after work.  I was mention how surprised I was that I liked Call of Duty: World at War's campaign.  Never thought I would be that into it.  A friend asks why and I mention about the campaign was engaging and fun yada yada yada.  And then he mentioned that he notices girls play only certain games, that they like a particular part of game.

Other that the Sims 3, I don't play any "particular" games that are supposed to be female-friendly.  I love FPSs, RTSs, RPGs, and a lot of other types of games that usually have a male following.  But gender-wise, I'm definitely female.  So... I'm an outlier?

I don't think so.  This is what I think: While growing up in the society we live in (at least in the western world), girls are taught, and not intentionally, that video games are not for them.

When I was growing up, my little brother was the reason we bought certain video game consoles.  I would try them and never got into them.  It turns out it's because other than Kirby, I SUCK at platformers.  Absolutely horrible.  That's what my brother would usually play, and he mastered it.  He is also better coordinated than I am in general, making it easier for him to pick up the control schemes.  I noticed that when it came to my friends, the girls just never got the video games, even if they grew up with them around.

Part of it is because the video games were not gender-neutral.  Gender meaning the social expectations of the sexes.  A lot of video game characters are fulfilling gender expectations of glory, either being overly sexualized or the penultimate of the gender.  I've mentioned this before.

Considering the industry decided to have mostly male heroes over the years, over time there were more heroes that boys and men could relate to then girls and women.  And like a lot of "toys, parents will pick out the one that has their children's genders represented.  Boys play with GI Joes and Might Max Figures, girls play with Barbie and American Girl Dolls.  So over time, since video games had more male heros, more parents bought their games for their sons and daughters got pushed out of the market.  Girls didn't grow up with video games, and as they grew up it was easy to just dismiss video games as a "guy thing."

Let's be honest, that's just by theory, but it's what I've observed in my childhood.

With this in mind, I think women have just adjusted to not be video game players in general.  The numbers have increased in years, but it's a slow and steady thing. I don't think there's been a big push because for gender in our society, it's not considered "lady-like" to even participate in fictional  violence. The most we get are women's leagues in some sports, and usually not heavy contact sports like american football.

Recently, recognizing the purchasing power of women in general, there has been a push to identify what would make a successful game that women would like to buy.  Two E3's ago that attempt was extremely ridiculous and stereotypical girl games, not even woman games.  Now because the industry is talking about it, the mainstream gamer is talking about it as well.

To me, it isn't quite a mystery.  Just stop making it seem like games are just for guys.  How do you do that?  Well, less characters that look like human beefcakes or barbie dolls, and probably more normal-looking characters.  Less over sexualized characters and more realistic depictions of bodies and goals.

That doesn't necessarily make games more female friendly, but it makes them more gender neutral.  And that makes games welcoming to EVERYONE.

I'm not saying that the video game industry HAS to do this, but if they want more female gamers, this is the first step.

When I'm Not Resentful Playing a Girl: By A Girl Gamer

A while ago this article caught my eye.  It focuses on the popularity of Femshep, the female version of Shepard in the Mass Effect series, despite the fact that she's barely part of the advertising campaign if at all. A good amount of people appreciate Femshep, and a lot of people who are diehard fans make sure to play through the game as both genders.

Edit: New Shepard, again who ever made
this one, your Shep is pretty so thank you!

What makes playing Femshep so popular despite no help from marketing?  In fact, what makes a lot of female characters popular?  Especially in situations where you don't have boobs busting out all over to sell your product (like Femshep or Samus).

You know what I think?  I think some of the best characters in video game storytelling are characters where the gender is, in all honesty, a side note.  The character is not overtly masculine or feminine, but instead a character with a deep background that has little to do with gender if anything at all.  Samus is a great example, since in the first game she appeared, you didn't realize she was a woman until you beat the game.  It was a huge surprise to the gaming world back then.  And after that, all of those fans kept playing regardless.  

Another character that has been popular is Master Chief.  I will admit that Halo is not a series I play a lot, but Master Chief is definitely a popular character for the Halo series, and is another example of how gender as a side note works.  We know he's a guy, but it rarely ever comes up in game.  His talks very little and is merely there to get the job done.  He's a no-nonsense guy, and you can relate to him because just like you, he's there to complete the mission.  He's not some beefcake hero.  

Characters I find hard to relate to, and instead are put on pillars of adoration or sexualization, are characters who's gender and sex roles are brought to the forefront.  Gender referring to social constructs, sex referring to scientific characterization.  Gender is the idea that women wear dresses.  Sex is the idea that women have a uterus.  Makes sense?  Good!
  

With most video game characters, the gender ideas tend to be the ones that distance them from us.  For example, the main guys for Gears of War are beefy men, with muscles that I'm not sure are humanly possible, carrying huge guns, dressed like space lumberjacks, and their only accessories are headbands and bullets.  Not even soldiers out on the field look ANYTHING like this.  This Rambo ideal is something that is impressed upon men from when they're young, the idea that a real hero is this huge beefy guy that can pull a truck and chews cigars.  But do you actually know a man in your life who fits this example to a T?  99 out of 100 people don't.  Instead, it's an ideal that we chase from when guys are young playing with actions figures.  You're not relating to the Gears of War guy at all when you first look at him.  You're hoping to become him.

Gender for women in video games tends to go the route of sexual objectification.  Let's go back to Heavenly Sword, with Nariko.  Sure, there is something empowering about a female main character with a large sword killing tons of bad guys all on her own.  But she still poses in half of the art and marketing as if she's a pin-up girl.  It can get even worse when it's not even a main character.  Hell, it gets worse even when it is a main character.  Bayoneta, although admittedly a game I would love to try out, has a main character who's sexualization is the entire point of the character, from the way she presents herself in cut scenes to the way she fights with magic and guns in her high-heel shoes.  I'm not going to say there's something wrong with this in the industry.  With the way human minds work, there will always be a market for main characters that are sexy.  But I have to say that these are not characters you can look at and go "I can totally relate to them."  These are characters that embody the ideals society will never meet.  The same ideals that have made it okay photoshopping models who are already paid to look hot, look even hotter.

However, even though these games sell, they never gain the kind of popularity that certain characters have gained over time.  Mario, Samus, Master Chief, Link, Sonic... these are characters that are not initially defined by their gender roles but something else entirely.  Something that makes them relatable enough to play over and over again without you even caring about how they look.  I know, it makes no sense that you should relate to an Italian plumber stereotype that grows bigger with mushrooms and stomps on turtles.  However, could it help that his awkward shortness and slight tummy make it easier for you, as a player, to look at him and go "That's the kind of hero I can be."?  Or to look at characters in full armor like Samus and Master Chief, who have made it their profession to do what they do in the video games, and acquire enough gear to make it believable?  They're not half naked statuesque demi-gods that can take continuous bullets and stab wounds and still look good.  They're just people.

And I think that's why FemShep is popular despite the lack of marketing attention.  She's just a woman with a past and a job to do.  She's LITERALLY saving the entire universe, do you think she even has time to care about her looks?  She barely has time to think about romance.  Although the same is true about MaleShep, it's noted more in FemShep because rarely is a female depicted as just a person with a job to do.  No boobs popping out to remind you she's a girl, no constant reminding about how beautiful she is compared to everyone else, and no saying "Hey, you're just as good as the men around here" to constantly remind us she is an above-average woman.  Gender is not completely devoid of all interaction, but it is devoid of the basis of Shepard's character.  

And that's true for a lot of the other female characters I like to play as well.  I remember when I first picked up Left 4 Dead, I told the Boyfriend that I never wanted to play Zoey because she's  girl.  But to be honest, out of the four characters she was the one I related to the most, and not just because she was a girl.  She is about my age, college girl who is a huge nerd, and that nerdom is helping her survive.  And none of the gameplay, and barely any of the script, revolves around the fact that she's a girl.  She's just doing her best to survive and sticking with the other 3 people who seems to still be alive in this mess of a zombie apocalypse.  Rochelle in L4D2 is in the same position, and once again her gender is no real concern.  Other than a quip about a frying pan and hitting on Francis during The Passing campaign, her gender doesn't matter.  I think, as the kind of girl who plays video games even if there isn't a female character (like a lot of girl gamers out there), this is the kind of female character I'm willing to play.  

Last thing, a lot of fans got as angry as Craig and Destin from Screw Attack did when they finally played Metroid: Other M.  Why?  If you listen to their audio review on SideScrollers, it's essentially because gender got in the way.  Samus is made to be the stereotypical meek female personality for a good amount of the scenes.  They took a character that was badass, and made her a little girl in some parts of the story.  This is not the Samus fans grew up with.  Hell, I never played the games and this is not the Samus I grew up with.  If this is something that the mostly male fan base is noticing, someone in writing/casting/directing of that story screwed up.

We have to look at gender in videogames and realize that it's not necessary to shaping a main character that appeals to gamers.  I think the video game industry would be better served if they realized that.

Bayonetta: A Step Forward for Women in Video Games?

I want to spread the word on this one because I find it to be an interesting point that even I never think about. The Game Overthinker, someone who's opinion I respect, sees Bayonetta as the sexual object men can never obtain because she is not in their league. Has that happened in video games before?

No spoilers, and I haven't played Bayonetta myself (need to fix the xbox that is in the house).

A song about rarities

This kind of pertains to my latest blog, but I thought you guys here would enjoy it more.

I'm tempted to enter every gaming store with a shirt that says "Warning, I have two x chromosomes. Do not be alarmed."

Announcement!

Please give a big welcome to THE 20 SIDED WOMEN PROJECT.

Visit it here!

Yes, this is the big announcement!  I am starting a new blog hoping to showcase women in the role playing game community.  Where will this lead?  I don't know, but I'm hoping some place fun.

For the project I now have a AIM screenname: d20sapphire.  Also If any of you know of any leads to help with this project, anyone who you think has a good say about it, please let me know!  I'm going to start with people in my area.  I've joined the RPGchicago group on meetup.com, and hoping to meet people that way.  In fact there's a meetup today I'm going to!  

So wish me luck!  I'll still be posting a lot of my normal stuff here.  

Twilight is bad for your relationship!

I am a bit of a Twilight hater.  Not to the point where I think anyone who likes the series is an idiot or lacks brain cells, but more because I can't get past a lot of the flaws in the series.  One flaw is how the relationships work in the series, but I can only attest to how people who read it described it to me.  So for this post, I'm not going to rag on how ridiculousness the Bella-Edward relationship is in the series. 

This article will, though, since that woman has read the book, thus saving me from my eyes bleeding.  Because they would bleed, readers.  Oh they would bleed.

From what I've heard and read and even seen in the movie (though I drank to enjoy that movie) the relationship between Bella and Edward is abusive.  How Edward stalks her tells her what to do and say is very reminiscent of those Lifetime movies I try to avoid where the woman is being abused.  To think that a ton of adolescent girls think this is what romance is supposed to be like sickens me.  Let's raise our little girls to be weak and feeble and depend on men for everything!  And let's raise these girls to want a man who will be overly protective and will have to know everything they do and say!  Perfect plan!

I'm not saying that one book will cause a whole generation of girls to be like this.  It's just a little messed up in my opinion.

Also, I'm extremely biased towards anything that's supposed to be sparkly and menacing.  It's a formula that doesn't work for me.

From the deviant art page of blastedgoose.

P.S. Did you notice this is my 100th post? I almost didn't!  Hooray for 20 Sided Woman!

The Quest!

When you're apparently really good at being unemployed without even trying, you have to make little projects here and there to keep yourself occupied.  So I have given myself a quest: to find as many locally owned gaming stores as possible in the area.

I've already been to GamePlus in Mount Prospect, and that place is pretty good.  I usually go there when I'm going on a dice binge and they've been somewhat sympathetic to my addiction.  It's what a gaming store should be and sticks to the classic model pretty well.  The classic model also includes a bunch of male staff.  And a lot of them are older than me too.  To me they are still approachable and probably even more approachable than some of the staff I've seen at other hobby/gaming stores.  And the staff has always been willing to help and hasn't had a problem with my gender like I've heard that a few girl gamers have dealt with before.  

The point is every time I've been to Games Plus it's been fun and I'm always willing to go back and give them more of my money.  The staff are knowledgeable and almost every time I walk in there is a great nerdy conversation going on that's fun to listen to.  And it's classic, it's your neighborhood hobby store.  It's just reeks of the memories of when you first picked up a D&D book and you were forever hooked.

But I want to see if there is more out there.  Who else is indulging in my hobbies?  Well there are a couple stores I hope to write about here soon when I get the chance to travel.  

Black Sun Games and Chicagoland Games are the only two I've been able to find in the area, so I'm going to check both of them out.  Right now it looks like Chicagoland Games is winning point for me, both in accessibility (Taking the el straight is a lot easier than taking bus, then el, then bus) and in web page layout.  

I'm also thinking of starting my investigation of girl gamers there.  I'm wondering how unkosher it is to start asking opinions of women gaming and stuff to the people who run the stores and such.  Who knows?  All I can do it just see what happens.  

This Quest, however, may have to wait until its closer to the end of the month.  By then I will be less busy and have some income from some random sources.  So that's the plan as of now.

I'm going to have a better game plan for my investigation later, which I'll post here.  If for some reason you get a lead or an idea for that project, feel free to drop me a line.  I'd like to thank EastwoodDC for trying to help me out earlier.  Any helpful gesture is definitely appreciated.

Wondering about lady gamers

I was interested to see if there was a site devoted to female RPG fans like myself, and I'm afraid I'm missing something, because there isn't a lot out there.  There was one horribly managed site that was too bright pink and impossible to navigate.  There were promises of other sites who's domains don't exist anymore.   

Where are my ladies in fictional arms?

I'm worried that my assumptions are true: even on the internet, tabletop RPG female players are  under represented.  Hmmm.

When I did my story telling explanation post I realized that because character and story are so important to tabletop RPGs, that more women should be into them.  But I don't think that's true.  I know I'm not the only woman out there who loves rolling dice.  But I think more nerd girls are into fantasy books/anime/video games, not tabletop RPGs.

This must be remedied.  I will find a way!

A Guide to Geeks: Is that necessary?

I was going to try to spiff up a list of Valentine's gifts for your significant nerdy other, so I went to the fabulous thinkgeek.com to look for some ideas.  As I have mentioned before, it is a great site.  

I go to the suggested Valentine's Day gifts page, and I found this book.

First thought, to be honest: "Cute!"

Second thought: "Wait a sec, really?  A guide to dating a geek?  Like it's that hard?"

It is a humorous idea, that is if you're that kind of girlfriend who feels her significant other's hobbies are just too odd to even get into.  A chick like me, however, is kinda... well, dare I say offended that someone feels this is necessary?

I've been on an "offended" kick to be honest, especially since game politics can't seem to stop talking about Resident Evil 5's racist images.  Maybe I'm just in that mind set.  But there are a few things I would like to gripe about, if you care to read on.

Number One: Why are geeks so different than any other guy?

This is something that I dont' get.  From what I found, every guy that I know has some hobby that they LOVE to invest a ton of time in.  Whether it's football, music, video games, or any other hobby, guys tend to choose a thing or two that they like and then stick with it.  Geek hobbies are not any different, just possibly a bit more foreign to some people.  Which leads to the next question...

Number Two: Why don't you just ask your boyfriend about his interests?

Seriously, communication people!  Essential for any good relationship.  Maybe instead of investigating about your boyfriend's hobby behind his back, why not ask him?  Since it's his hobby, he'd probably love to talk to you about it until your ears fall off.  Maybe you could even, I don't know, try out a game or watch a movie and see if you may like it too.  You may have some hidden nerd potential.  And if you feel like you can't have a conversation about your boyfriend's interests, dump him and get another one.

Number Three: Are geeks such a burden?

Okay, this may be the joking part of the game, but sometimes I get the feeling that the "general populous" (aka people who say they are normal but are actually dirty freaks on the inside) finds there is something defective in geeky hobbies.  I can't say I'm into anime without people asking if I live in my parents basement.  And if I mention my boyfriend is off playing Guild Wars, a lot of other women look at me sympathetically, as if he's cheating on me.  Uh, no.  It's just like if you're married to someone into football and you're not.  You just hang out with your friends on game day while he stays home rooting for his home team.

To be honest, in my relationship I'm the football enthused one when I have the time, The Boyfriend is not a sports person as all.  I find that funny.

Number Four: Why so gender specific?

This is the question where you can tell I am a liberal arts student.  Why is it that it's the girl that needs to learn on how to "cope" with her new geek boyfriend?  What if a guy was dating a geek girl and had no idea why she was totally into the X-Men?  What if it was a gay or lesbian couple?  Would it change much?  For the information in this book, probably not.  Or lack of useful information it seems.

Look, if you suck at relationships, no book about geeks is going to help you understand your significant other regardless of whether or not they've reached level 80 on WoW.  Being a good partner will help with any hobby gaps.  As long as there isn't a big difference in values (for example, "You can't have a fiction girlfriend in Vampire!  I'm jealous."  "But it's just a game!"), then any relationship can get over a couple different preferences in extracurricular activities.

Geek Couples: Why is it that the girl converts?

This post is going to be a little bit different than some of my others, because it's solely based on my observations.  No links to articles or anything like that.  I know, you like it when I do something that's based on source material, but give this a try guys!

Since Valentines' day is near, let's talk about geeky couples.  Who's the Zoe to your Wash, the Zelda to your Link, the Cleric to your Fighter, the Mario to your Peach?

I find that relationship to be a weird one myself, but anyway you get the point.  Some of you out there are lucky like me and have a nerdy person to love.  Some of you are hunting down someone, and some of you are happy to fool around with any attractive female in the cosmos like our beloved Captain Kirk.  Whatever your position may be in life, we all know there are nerd couples out there, but there's an interesting pattern that I have noticed.

I recently started thinking about it with one of my housemates here at school.  She has a boyfriend who's a big nerd.  He taught my housemate how to play Magic the Gathering, which, for those of you who don't know, a game that is made of crack.  At least for a lot of my guy friends, collecting cards is a life passion.  I've had a couple exes who were into it, and tried to get me into it.  My housemate was never really into it before but now she's playing it with him a lot.  And then I started thinking about other nerd couples I know, and the pattern started to arise...

Why is it that it's the guy introducing the girl into something geeky 9 times out of 10?

Boyfriends are more likely to be the primary nerd in the relationship, passing on the info to the girlfriend who, either having the info thrust upon them or actually interested in the subject at hand, will try their best to pick up why the nerd hobby is so important.  Rarely do you get instances where the girl is showing the guy something nerdy.  And even if they are into something nerdy, it's usually because of another male influence.  I have friend who introduced her boyfriend to Star Wars, but she got into it because of her previous boyfriend.  I have friends who got into stuff because of their brothers or fathers.  Rarely do I hear someone, ANYONE say "my girlfriend/mom/sister/gal pal got me into [insert nerd hobby here]"

Now I know there are girls who got into stuff without a male influence.  My mom is the reason I'm so nerdy, and a good friend of mine from high school introduced me to Dungeons and Dragons (although, going back to my point, her dad was into it and introduced her to it).  My friend who does the Uncharted 2 blog got into a lot of this nerd stuff herself, especially her love of comic books.  But I find that this is not the norm.  Even I didn't get into Starcraft until the Boyfriend essentially thrusted it upon me.  Oh wait, I mean the game, he thrusted the game... oh goddamn it.

Why is it that girls are usually "pulled" into the fandoms?  Why aren't they attracted to it themselves?  That I have no theory on.  I just find it interesting that this is the current pattern.  over time I think it will become more even.

There are a couple exceptions to the rule: literature, web comics and anime/manga.  Those are some things that girls easily dig into on their own without a male influence.  Especially anime, with their cat girls.  Ugh.  

I want to know what you guys think.  Are my observations correct, or am I totally out of the loop on this one?